Empathy

Empathy    

    As humans, we're always taken on a roller-coaster of emotions. Some we like, some we find difficult and some pushes us to our limits. I've had many of these in my life-time and yet each time the feeling is different. I can't say that I've ever felt the same sadness or experienced the same level of gratitude. They are all just different.
    
    When someone says to you 'I understand how you feel' or 'I sympathise with you', they can't possibly. Even if they think they've been through  the exact same experience or similar, how can you possibly know how I feel? What you can tolerate, I may not be able to. How my hormones react (and gosh have I got lots of those) is completely different from how yours does.
    
    Empathy is a good word. It glorifies itself in trying to maintain a relationship between one who is experiencing and one who is being told of the experience. Yet, you will never wholly understand. In my previous years as a manager, during training, it is drilled into your brains that you need to demonstrate empathy. Fake! Dare I say I dislike not being me. How can I be empathetic towards someone when I've probably never have nor will I ever experience their experience? Empathy is an ability. An ability is a skill. A skill can be learnt. You can't teach someone to understand another's feelings. I'm not saying we should stay on the sideline and watch as people crumple in their roller-coaster of emotions, it's just that it can be difficult to internalise an appropriate amount of understanding about someone else's experience.
    
    Playing devil's advocate, I like to think that I naturally care about people. Now this is entirely different from using empathy as a learned skill. In this instance, empathy is natural. However, I would still not fully understand the depth of someone else's experience because I am not them.

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